Queen-in-Waiting

I have worn mourning many times
I carried her elegantly at least, 
Lace-draped loss. 
In grief I still knew glory -
I held out my sombre skirts,
I knew where to step.

But this constant unknowing
Grasps at my chest -

With each cold breath
A mocking kind of hope,

The entertaining of a ghost

Future lingers.

Each day I dress a maybe

With wordless fabric, 

So heavily weighted -

Elizabeth knows her indecision 
Will cut to the bone
Eventually. 

Copyright LJ Ireton 2023

The elegance of ivy

It has taken me decades
To look how I wanted to
At eleven -
The rough elegance
Of ivy, wound and dripping 
Off bark
Jagged perfect hearts,
After years, a bouquet
Of my own making
And not listening to you
Or my impatience -
Just the girl
Who didn't want to brush her hair,
But catch her billowing skirts
On jutting leaves. 

I know how to be her now.
May I forgive myself
For never waiting long enough,
For forgetting
The desire of the young,
The trailing lovely dirty forest,
The gait of the willow - 
In my impulsive attempts
To shape a flower,
Instead of letting her grow.

Copyright LJ Ireton 2023 

White Horses

The reflection of an egret
Under the willow,
Wings wide -
The sight of white horses,
Walking celestial
Moonlight in the field -

The sky guides us
To the old earth,
The new 

Amongst the dust, the crumbling,
Stars fly in the river,
Faith chews on fading grass. 

LJ Ireton 2023

The First Laughter

I will never forget the first laughter -

After the day I cried
And kept crying;
Into hours that were weeks
And weeks that were hours,
Wading through cloudlike reality -
For a time, I can only remember the clouds...

Until one evening, a suddenness,

A stubbornness -

My cat leapt up onto the lap 

Of a lady saying she didn't like cats.

Four legs cutting feline, quick, 

Wilful through all human feelings 

And shoulds

Landed through the fog

Of what I could not feel -

Here was something I loved.

And I laughed. 

LJ Ireton 2023

October Haiku

The October wind
Stroking the September Sun
Whispers her potion

LJ Ireton 2023

All things descending

The season falls, I watch
Without control
The split and bounce of conkers
Into the mist,
The rain and covering of burnt orange
Shed by the sun.

The wind sweeps time up
In front of me,
Sailed on by a yellow wagtail -
She still looks like Spring.
But the squirrels are ready -
Listening, claws sharp 

And eager to dig.

I'm not sure what I'm meant to let go of,
Yet,
Or what to search for 
Under the wisps of this year,
Settling.

But maybe all things descending
Will leave answers in my hands -
Solid as shells,
Green as the ivy always sure of herself -
Maybe all things descending
Will leave answers.

LJ Ireton 2023